Sunday, July 3, 2011

Armstrong (1996)

Background: To Celebrate the 4th Of July, the Depths Of Netflix celebrates the 1998 film Armstrong. Only America can make a big dumb action movie with this much sincerity. Menahem Golan directs this picture, and while he may be unknown to most, he is a God among '80's action aficionados. He produced such classics as The Delta Force with Chuck Norris, Over The Top and Cobra with Sly Stallone, Bloodsport, easily Jean-Claude Van Damme's best movie and even Death Wish 2-5. He even directed those first two. His career waned considerably after these movies, he kept making movies like this long after they fell out of fashion.

It's safe to say that the cast is not the big selling point for this movie, but really, who watches action flicks for the acting? The film's production company, Nu Image, has considerably more sway though. Nu Image was founded by another action super-producer Avi Lerner, whose credits include Rambo, cult favorite Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans and action supergroup smash The Expendables.

Plot: Our movie starts in Russia, as generals and dignitaries discuss nuclear policies. That's when we get our first glimpse of the eponymous hero, Rod Armstrong (Best action hero name ever). He busts in, breaks some glass, shoots some guns and doesn't care about the consequences. But wait! The man at the head of the table, General Zukov, pulls out a stop watch. It was all a test. Armstrong, as it turns out, is an ex-Navy SEAL looking for a job training KGB agents. He's hired, despite saying multiple times that he's "very expensive".

From America comes the man who trained Armstrong, Bob Zorkin and his wife Susan, whom Bob has also trained in the ways of the SEAL. He has a video that he needs to show Armstrong, but just as he's going to, some dudes break into Armstrong's apartment, guns blazing. The leader of the group, a man with a ponytail who's named "Ponytail" (I shit you not) murders Bob and tries to get the tape back from Armstrong.

The tape, as it turns out, is of nuclear missiles being loaded and unloaded at a Russian Military camp being overseen by General Zukov. Ponytail is buying and selling those missiles. The first two paragraphs of this plot summary happen in 20 minutes. Those past two sentences take up the rest of the movie. Pacing problems.

Why Was It Forgotten? This movie was made in 1998. Action movies like this had fallen about of favor about a decade prior. That's not to say there weren't plenty of movies like this throughout the '90s, but by this time they had been largely relegated to Direct To Video. The rise of the indie movie caused a shift in the way Americans viewed big, dumb action flicks. For reference, this movie came out the same year as Rushmore, Life Is Beautiful and Shakespeare In Love.

Another thing to fall out of favor was Russia. For nearly half a century, the Russians were the biggest baddies America could find. Unfortunately for this movie, that period ended several years prior to its release, though it seems no one told the movie. All army vehicles and weapons are emblazoned with a red star, usually associated with Communism, as such has been banned in some former Soviet states.

Overall, it just feels like a movie out of place in time. Fifteen years prior, Frank Zagarino could have been the next Dolph Lundgren, but instead he was relegated to the depths (of Netflix)

What Went Right? Zagarino has a lot of charisma, but I'm frankly not sure why. he's not a great actor, and his role was certainly not well written. He and Joe Lara as Ponytail both seem to be having a ton of fun in their roles though. One as a stereotype of action heroes, the other as an over the top super villain. Sure they both chew every piece of scenery they can find, but that actually works to the movie's credit. It never takes itself at all seriously, because serious action movies are the worst. If you want proof of how fun/cheesey this movie is, just listen to the music or take a look at that awesome poster.

Verdict: Pretty much McBain from the Simpsons, and that's pretty cool.
Score: 75%

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